How therapy works:

What changes will there be for me?

Gradually you are likely to feel more at peace with what has happened in the past. Experiences of profound loss are not something that we recover from but something we learn to live with and this may require making some changes in how you ‘do’ your life. You are likely to start to develop new ways to understand yourself and to ‘do’ life and relationships.

You may become more comfortable in yourself, happier about how life is and more hopeful and joyful about present and future. You might find that the ways you relate to other people changes. You may develop more confidence to communicate your needs to the other people in your life. This won’t all happen immediately and there can be no guarantees.

You do need to be aware that sometimes things seem to get worse before they get better. This can be a difficult part of the experience of therapy. I will support you throughout if this happens for you. This does not mean that the therapy is not working but is just part of the process sometimes.

I will always allow you to go at your own pace and I will always follow your lead. The idea is that, through your therapy , things will begin to change for you for the better. Of course, that change is different for everyone and can take a few sessions or longer to begin. We will be reviewing and checking out how it’s going at regular intervals.

What if I get upset?

In therapy we will both to get to think about you and whatever you want to talk about very closely. Sometimes this will bring up some strong and even uncomfortable emotions and I will support you around this. Your therapy session is somewhere where you can laugh, cry or be angry without worrying how that will affect me. Swearing is fine too!

You might even get upset with me about something I say or do. If that happens I encourage you to let me know so that we can discuss this and work out what is happening between us. This can lead to valuable insights. However, also I do make mistakes and I want to know if this happens and how it affects you.

Is the timing right for me?

You are likely to need some space afterwards to reflect quietly about the session or about some of my responses to you. Try not to schedule difficult and demanding activities in the hours after the session if at all possible.

You will need to consider whether this is the right time for you to start therapy sessions. If you are in the midst of a significant transition this might not be the best time, but conversely it might be important for you to be seeking support with this. Timing is important so that your therapy has the best chance of working. This is something we will talk about in the consultation session.

What will I have to do in my therapy sessions?

You won’t need to do much more than turn up and talk to me! A willingness to talk about what concerns you will help but if this if difficult I will support you to do this. Things may need some time to begin to change so giving the process a chance to work will also be important.

You might feel uncomfortable at times. I ask, after the consultation session, that you commit to six sessions. Whilst this will be our strong shared intention, you are, of course, free to stop at any time if you choose to. We will then review how things are going and agree to end or to do some more sessions.

What if I don’t know where to begin?

You might worry that you won’t know where to begin. I will help you to find your own way to start telling me about what your concerns are. There is no need to tell me your most challenging experiences unless you feel comfortable to do so. There are many places you can start and still find your way to what really matters for you.

Will you think badly of me?

I will not be judging you but trying to truly understand how things are from your perspective. You are likely to share about your relationships with others. I will not judge them either but instead just focus on how the relationship with them is for you.

Will you tell anyone else what I tell you?

You can be certain that I am not going to break our confidentiality agreement no matter what you share. There are some limits to confidentiality around your safety and other people’s safety. We will discuss these and agree to to these between us in your first session.

You are at liberty to talk to others about your therapy, however I encourage you to think carefully about whether doing so is in your best interests. Therapy is a deeply personal experience.

Will you tell me what to do?

No! You are the expert on you and your life. I will support you to discuss options and I can add my thoughts to yours. You are the one who decides what actions to take. I support you to develop the self-confidence to know what you want and what you are choosing.

How will I know when to stop?

Ending your online therapy with care is very important. If at any point you think you want to stop then we can discuss that together in your session. Then we will work out a way to end the work together in the best way for you. This is even more important if we have worked together for many sessions.

Click on this link to book a free 20 minute introductory chat with me