Have you lost a child to suicide? Maybe I can help you find your way forward.
When my son took his own life in 2004, my whole life changed overnight. He was gifted and neurodivergent, and I spent years fighting for systems to understand and support him. Whatever your child's story - whether they struggled with neurodivergence, mental health challenges, relationship breakdowns, or something else entirely or perhaps you are just left with the pain of not knowing - the questions, the overwhelm, the isolation and the trauma of losing them to suicide are territory I know well.
Many other bereaved parents have shared their experiences with me about what has helped and supported them. I have learnt a lot about what worked for me and what really didn’t. However, I want to help you to find your way to live with this profound loss without feeling as if you are leaving your child behind.
Does this sound like you?
Does your life feel as if it’s in two very separate pieces; before your child died and after they died
Do you wear a mask out in the world so that no-one really knows how you are
Does it feel as if no-one understands how it is for you, so that you feel alone in your grief?
Do people avoid mentioning your son or daughter in case they ‘upset’ you?
Do you struggle with family occasions, birthdays and anniversaries, not really knowing how to mark them or even dreading them?
Do you worry that you are leaving your child behind as time passes?
You need to do whatever it is that you need to do—there is no right way to do this.
Maybe you want to…
Develop some strategies for being present to the thoughts and feelings that you experience without getting overwhelmed.
Work out how to include your daughter or your son in family occasions and gatherings in ways that are OK for you.
Reflect on your current relationship with your child and how to stay connected with them.
Communicate with your partner, family and friends about your needs (and theirs too) around your son or daughter.
Be confident that you are not taking up too much space when you want to talk about your child or your experience.
Feel less isolated from the other people around you and be able to put down the mask you wear to go out in the world.
I'm Davina, a qualified and experienced trauma-informed therapist, with many years of lived experience supporting parents through this journey.
What to do if you want to work with me:
I only work with a small number of clients in this way and so there may be a wait before I can offer you a place. If you would like to discuss coming for therapy with me please book a free 20 minute chat with me to hear a little more and to ask any questions you have. I will be very happy to have a conversation with you.
Alternatively, if you are already clear that you would like to go ahead, you can book an initial consultation session on my bookings page. The day and time of the consultation session is likely to be the time you are offered if we decide to go ahead.